So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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