its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
