I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
