He disabled his match.com account in front of me
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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