Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
