Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
