idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
