Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
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