dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
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