Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
