why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Randomize
