Its about making memories worth repressing
Quick, to the slutcave!
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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