quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
