Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
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