Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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