I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
