Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
