I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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