Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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