my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
