Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
