there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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