i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
