walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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