i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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