I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
