I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
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