tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Randomize
