got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
