why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
