So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
