We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
This show inspires me to have sex in space
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
