She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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