To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
