WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
