I think I am morally bankrupt
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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