Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
