Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
