one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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