The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
How naked do you want me to be?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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