I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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