I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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