Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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