So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
