So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
