I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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