actually, I'm a sock model
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
