Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Found the puke drawer
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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