he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize