He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
