Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
