Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
