Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Randomize
