Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize