is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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