you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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