So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Randomize
