i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
BRING THE BAGELS
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
