Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Randomize
