Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Randomize
