That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
