I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
now i know why i became what i already was.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
